The Long Unawaited Return of Pug

I received an email this morning informing me that my blog had attained a new loyal follower, “Don Charisma”. I was hoping for Don Cheadle but hey, everyone online is just words on a screen anyway right? Continue reading

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Adventures!

If you can keep up with my seemingly random font changes, then you have a stronger mind than I. This one is “Modern No. 20”, although it looks like the opposite of modern to me.

If you like tales of high adventure, then prepare to be sorely disappointed. This story is just a short anecdote summarising an entertaining night of petty crime.

It all started with a walk commencing at 8pm, taking my party through some haunted, bear-infested back country owned by someone possessive enough to put up signs proclaiming that “trespassers will be prosecuted”. We were almost at a fence marking the beginning of some other selfish person’s property when the person behind me whispered “Pssst! Put your light out, and stay quiet!”

I did as I was bid, but turned to ask why. The words caught in my throat, however, as I saw a light bobbing up and down in the woods behind us, only a few paces from where we were standing. The light stopped, and then swept over our position. We couldn’t hide properly without making more noise (the undergrowth was too dense), so instead we bent from our waists and turned our faces away, remaining as inconspicuous as possible.

“Who is that?” I asked my informant, but he merely shook his head.

Suddenly, the light went out. Whoever this person was, they were waiting for us to make a move. Then, the phone of the person three men back began to ring. It seemed like an eternity before he managed to switch it off, and when he did the light was back on and questing again.

“Hi guys.” It was my bastard friend from work. He’d followed us at a distance all the way through the forest.

The relief was tangible, but quickly replaced by a surge of aggravation. I explained my fond desire to end his life, but ended up welcoming him to our party. We then managed to get to the road, which fortunately was publicly owned.

We arrived at the school shortly after. We climbed up the nearest wall and sat upon the roof, gazing at the stars and surrounding countryside. We talked of videogames and other innocuous things, before Bastard explained he had to be going. We bade him farewell and he departed without fanfare.

“How are we getting down?” Someone asked me, and I provided them with option A and option B.

A: Easy Mode Pansy Climb of Comfort; and B: Veteran Difficulty Certain Death and Suffering.

Two of the braver members of my party chose B, and the rest elected the way of ease. My two companions and I shimmied across some guttering and across more rooftops until we reached the other side of the school. I leapt from the roof, breaking my fall with a forward roll. The rest of my party rendezvoused with us and the other two climbed down (it wasn’t too tricky with the help a 6’7″ companion). We made our way to the playground, where I realised my watch had exploded back when I jumped from the roof. I revisited the place of my landing, collected the fragments and pocketed them, before returning to my party.

We hung about, eating Twisties ZigZags and drinking Pepsi (which, remarkably, was still cold), and chatted idly. We set out shortly after for the cemetery. The sky was clear and studded with stars, so we spent most of our time with our necks craned back. It was truly a remarkable evening.

We walked back to my house, and then all crammed back into one car (not quite legally), and then dispersed with a smattering of handshakes and hugs goodbye.

Didn’t see that many bears, though.

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Technology Shouldn’t Require “Luck”

I have been wrestling with Apple for some time now. My objective was simple: substitute a font for a different one. (For the interested reader, I’m actually developing a theme which uses the dialogue font from Zelda: Ocarina of Time. I composed this blog post with it, in fact. I’m head over heels in love with it)

“Wait a minute!” Apple pipes up, looking flustered. “I don’t want you to do that! How dare you manipulate the files on the electronic device that you paid good money for!”

Apple made this clear in the following way: by making it impossible to access font files at all. Of course, you can jailbreak your phone (which, hilariously, is legal, to Apple’s chagrin) which allows you to use an FTP client to access the iPhone’s directory structure. That’s what I did.

“Oops!” Apple stifles laughter. “Your iPhone’s locked up! Too bad! You’ll have to restore to factory settings, which means your phone will become un-jailbroken and also have to be updated to firmware 4.1, which is harder to jailbreak!”

I found a way, fuck ’em (just Google “limera1n”, works a treat on iPhone 3GSes running OS4.1). BUT NOW – I don’t have access to my wireless network. And, of course, Apple never passes up an opportunity to stab me in the vital parts.

“Guess what?” Apple asks, giggling.

“What?”

“You can’t use an FTP Client with your iPhone unless you have a wireless network!”

“But I have a USB cable. That should work.”

Apple doesn’t answer, just rolls on the floor wracked with laughter.

My deductive instincts told me this wasn’t a good sign. And, sure enough, there is virtually no possible way to use a FTP with a USB cable. So far my Internet forays have yielded hare-brained, hastily cobbled together 2MB programs like “Total Commander” and “iTunnel”, which only work with very specific combinations of hardware and firmware. “NOTE: ONLY WORKS WITH 3G 3.1.0” etc etc. At least they had the good grace to warn me, I suppose.

Furthermore, feedback on such dubious executables varies wildly, with some people experiencing further system failure (poor bastards) and others getting exactly what they needed. One user helpfully posted:

ive taken themes that i had backed up on my comp and put them on my ipod..not all of them copied but most of them did…so. u might get some random luck

Pasted from <http://www.ipodtouchfans.com/forums/showthread.php?t=203933>

Great. That’s perfect! So, everything will be fine, as long as Lady Luck is smiling my way. What a bleeding carry on.

I’ve been at this for hours. I’ve already lost a lot of data, (namely, audiobooks and themes), in the factory settings system restore fiasco. I am getting really fucking tired of Apple and its clandestine bullshit. Next time I see Steve Jobs I’m going to punch him in the throat.

Probably not gonna happen, but hey, a guy can dream. Whew… that feels better. Nothing like a good rant, eh?

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New Series?

I’ve heard good things about the graphic novel the series is based on, and it’s about time someone cashed in on the Inevitable Zombie Apocalypse™ as a television series. Dead Set came close, but that was technically a miniseries, not a bona fide regular television programme. The article is followed by a trailer, but is unavailable to me “due to your country or location”. Blatant racial discrimination! There’s probably a good chance it won’t see air time here in Australia, either. How irritating.

I intend to acquire the graphic novel(s). I love Stephen King’s work, and if Frank Darabont and I have similar tastes, I’m probably in for a treat.

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Halo Reach: Commendations

So, here’s my current star-spangled scout-ribbon badge thing with everything I’ve accomplished so far (highlighted), and everything I’m in the process of accomplishing (faded).

I may review maps later, with layouts and weapon locations.

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Mercenaries for 3DS

I sure hope the 3DS is capable of anti-aliasing. Just look at the staircasing on that Executioner Majini’s leg. Of course, this may just be a magnified version of a low resolution screencap, in which case the system is not to blame! Here’s Jonathon Holmes’ take on it (the premise of the game, not pixel smoothing):

Wait, what? Another Resident Evil game is coming to the 3DS? Is that some sort of record for an unreleased console? I think it might be.

Well, to be fair, Resident Evil: The Mercenaries wont be totally new. From the sounds of it, the game will feature scenarios, characters, and gameplay from the Mercenaries modes found in Resident Evil 4 andResident Evil 5, but with new online co-op and competitive modes. That’s cool with me. The Mercenaries was easily my favorite part of Resident Evil 5. As for Resident Evil 4, I loved the main campaign, but I definitely logged in a lot more total hours with its Mercenaries bonus content. To get all that on the go, in 3D, with online play to boot? That may just end my productivity for life.

Sadly there’s no mention of the Mercenaries mode that started it all; the one from Resident Evil 3. Hopefully we’ll get some of that as well. I’d love to see Carlos and Nikolai get back in the action. They could be playable characters in the Resident Evil 4 and 5 modes, as the official press release does tout “brand new modes and well known characters from the series to enrich and extend the Mercenaries experience“. Could the old “dodge the dog on top of the dumpster” trick make a comeback as well?

Pasted from <http://www.destructoid.com/resident-evil-the-mercenaries-announced-for-3ds-185155.phtml>

Personally I’d like to see all the Mercenaries characters from all iterations of the series become playable. That means Leon, Joshua, Luis, Wesker — everyone. Nintendo: do not fail me.

Oh, if you’re confused about this format, I’ve been splicing up the interwebs as per my new blog methodology. Consequently you’ll recognise images and articles from other sites. Like Destructoid. Good site, check it out. This isn’t called Pug’s Plug for nothing.

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If Anyone Was Considering Picking Up D&D as a Hobby…

… Then don’t ask Sean Hutchinson to be your DM. I prepared a few snippets of audio recording from our session on Sunday. I was going to upload them here so you could perhaps understand the horror that is Sean on a weekend afternoon, but apparently mp3 files aren’t audio files. According to WordPress, at least.

Oh, doc files are audio files. And pdf files. Why not cram a jpeg on your iPod and have a listen?

I’ll probably upload them to my tumblr, and then link them via URL to this post.

P.S: Screw you, WordPress.

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