I have been wrestling with Apple for some time now. My objective was simple: substitute a font for a different one. (For the interested reader, I’m actually developing a theme which uses the dialogue font from Zelda: Ocarina of Time. I composed this blog post with it, in fact. I’m head over heels in love with it)
“Wait a minute!” Apple pipes up, looking flustered. “I don’t want you to do that! How dare you manipulate the files on the electronic device that you paid good money for!”
Apple made this clear in the following way: by making it impossible to access font files at all. Of course, you can jailbreak your phone (which, hilariously, is legal, to Apple’s chagrin) which allows you to use an FTP client to access the iPhone’s directory structure. That’s what I did.
“Oops!” Apple stifles laughter. “Your iPhone’s locked up! Too bad! You’ll have to restore to factory settings, which means your phone will become un-jailbroken and also have to be updated to firmware 4.1, which is harder to jailbreak!”
I found a way, fuck ‘em (just Google “limera1n”, works a treat on iPhone 3GSes running OS4.1). BUT NOW – I don’t have access to my wireless network. And, of course, Apple never passes up an opportunity to stab me in the vital parts.
“Guess what?” Apple asks, giggling.
“What?”
“You can’t use an FTP Client with your iPhone unless you have a wireless network!”
“But I have a USB cable. That should work.”
Apple doesn’t answer, just rolls on the floor wracked with laughter.
My deductive instincts told me this wasn’t a good sign. And, sure enough, there is virtually no possible way to use a FTP with a USB cable. So far my Internet forays have yielded hare-brained, hastily cobbled together 2MB programs like “Total Commander” and “iTunnel”, which only work with very specific combinations of hardware and firmware. “NOTE: ONLY WORKS WITH 3G 3.1.0″ etc etc. At least they had the good grace to warn me, I suppose.
Furthermore, feedback on such dubious executables varies wildly, with some people experiencing further system failure (poor bastards) and others getting exactly what they needed. One user helpfully posted:
ive taken themes that i had backed up on my comp and put them on my ipod..not all of them copied but most of them did…so. u might get some random luck
Pasted from <http://www.ipodtouchfans.com/forums/showthread.php?t=203933>
Great. That’s perfect! So, everything will be fine, as long as Lady Luck is smiling my way. What a bleeding carry on.
I’ve been at this for hours. I’ve already lost a lot of data, (namely, audiobooks and themes), in the factory settings system restore fiasco. I am getting really fucking tired of Apple and its clandestine bullshit. Next time I see Steve Jobs I’m going to punch him in the throat.
Probably not gonna happen, but hey, a guy can dream. Whew… that feels better. Nothing like a good rant, eh?
